My Losing Essay for Marketing Magic

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No Marketing Magic: writemixforbusiness.com sad witch graphic by Sue-Ann Bubacz

Sooooo…I decided to share my not so successful effort to win a coveted place at the MarketingProfs’ B2B Marketing Magic event taking place in October.

Maybe sharing it will make me feel better for being a loser. Maybe not.

I decided to share it anyway because:

✅I’ll be a good loser and not scream and kick and cry but, instead, share. (and maybe make someone laugh, or at least smile, at my humorous effort)

✅I’ll be letting you know that I take my writing craft very seriously (even in humor) and consider marketing, magic, creativity, and continuous learning all important elements to my, and by default YOUR, success. That’s why I wanted to go…for us.

✅I’ll admit that Ann Handley and everyone at MarketingProfs represent the best-in-the-business and they offer a lot of magic from up there in Boston, and okay, a lot of hard work and dedication mixed in… hmmm… A potion for success, maybe? So I won’t be mad at them.

✅I’ll be feeling a little depressed to not have an opportunity to check out Boston, even though I vow no tantrums, but a girl can still dream, right? Come to think of it, I almost decided to go to Boston College for a Masters in Public Relations right out of college and haven’t been there yet, so what’s another year? Anyway, I tell you this so you’ll be extra nice to me for a little while until I get over it.

✅I’ll admit my chances were slim. Hey, there’s all kinds of talent out there but it doesn’t matter because at least I tried. And hopefully, my effort was at least respectable among the sea of talent. But hey, I already said a girl can dream, didn’t I?!

The spec was: 500 words (which I met exactly) answering the question: How could the MarketingProfs B2B Forum make me a better marketer? Also, no pics, no tricks. Just plain writing. My thing. See why I had to try?

So with no further adieu, I am pleased to present my Essay:

1 Marketing Magic Pass Please

Wait, I better change that:

1 Marketing Magic Pass NOT

So here goes…TaDaaa:

It’s more like this, Ann and friends…

How could the MarketingProfs B2B Forum NOT make me a better marketer?

Paleeeze…

After all, with every hot diggity dog top-of-the-heap, #1 Guru, Joe Business Smart Corporate Guy, bigwig, smallwig and no wig presenter known to marketing mankind (and maybe the world) lined up, how can I fail to walk away as the same and not a better…make that remarkably better…marketing me? Come on…

If I just soak up a tiny drop, a mere drizzle even, of all the clout and Boom and know-how and creativity that will be oozing from every corner of every presentation, meeting, workshop and event of every sort at the B2B Forum…well, let’s just say, success will be a four letter word in my future…DONE.

So you see, your premise is just all wrong. I’ll forgive you, of course, because I’m by no means trying to ruffle any feathers with “the essay voters” by telling them that making me a better marketer is a forgone conclusion.

And YOU ALL KNOW exactly why. You planned it for goodness sake and we (the little people) expect no less than a stellar performance on your part.

We are all drooling (well okay maybe just I’m drooling) at the idea of attending this event and I can tell you this…100% full disclosure (the Full Monty) and transparency on my part…I can’t possibly tell you in 500 words, or even five billion words, how much this would truly mean to me.

You’ve been marketing your little marketing hearts out producing a one-of-a-kind, best Marketing Conference ever-to-be-seen event and please please please…I am dying to be part of it!!!!! Please.

Oops. I digress with that little begging spell. Happens. Forgive me. Now where were we?

Oh yes. Why I absolutely must win this essay context and get my hiney to Boston because it will make me a better marketer.

Well, let’s see. There’s Brian Clark. That guy changed my whole business prospective. That’s not much I guess…for me a 360…but if I get a chance to hear him present, or heaven forbid, meet him, I might keel over.

There’s Barry Feldman who is such a learnedly cool fellow. He’s marketed and handled content marketing and creative for just about everyone under the sun. His (impressive) client list is bigger than an elephant. Ann Handley is no slouch either, but if she’s in on this, don’t let it go to her head.

Oh, Oh…there’s just so much…from keynote speakers, who put the important in impressive, to the last night’s blues, when we will be crying in our beer that it’s all over.

This conference will give so much more to me than just Marketing Magic. More like a Marketing Miracle and one big fat dream that may not come true for me without a little help to get there. Damn…transparency again.
Please. Thanks.